As parents I think we all experience those moments where our kid says something out loud in public in front of others and it’s super embarrassing. Children, bless their little hearts, have the gift of being able to say whatever comes to their sweet little minds whenever they choose.
I miss the days of not having to filter what I say.
My 5 year old is going through that stage where he says everything out loud that comes to his mind. He’s also very good at pointing out the obvious.
Case in point, a few weeks ago told the man standing in the 7-Eleven line ahead of us that he had no teeth in his mouth.
Another time we were walking by two teenage girls and he said “ew!!!” as he made a twisted and sickened face (girls also have cooties right now).
Friday night he and I went out to dinner by ourselves. As we were leaving the restaurant he’s in one of his very talkative, outgoing moods. One of the hostesses tells us to have a good evening and he replies with “You have a good evening, fatty!”. I quickly ushered him out of the door and as we’re walking an older couple stops and holds the door open for us. He walks past the gentleman and says “Thank you very much…fat man!” At this point I’m trying to refrain from giggling out loud as not to encourage his behavior. It came across as a very muffled chuckle.
You see it wasn’t what he said so much as how he said it. He used a very authoritative, grown man voice while gesturing a wide open space with his arms.
I tell him that it’s not nice to call people fat. This fucking kid looked me square in my face in all seriousness and asks “Then why were you laughing?”. ( shame…)
Marley was the same way at his age. It led to A LOT of dirty looks and mild embarrassment on my part. Marley liked to tell people about how I liked to “wrestle” in the bedroom with the door closed. Her favorite story by far was when I was pregnant with her brother and sneezed, and when I stood up from the couch there was a wet spot… because I peed.
Now, I would never encourage my children to be rude, or to say things that could possibly hurt another person’s feelings, however…
I feel as parents we want to start filtering our children’s thoughts and feelings at a very young age. We condition them to say and do the “right thing” at all times. Kudos to us for trying to raise empathetic and thoughtful members of society.
Looking back, I know I was raised to be very conscious of what I said and did. It was the norm to be considerate of others even if it came at my own expense.
At some point in my early adulthood, I decided that I no longer wanted to have a filter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a raging bitch or anything(okay, maybe I am) but I do say what’s on my mind. I’ve had family tell me I’m abrasive. I feel like if I constantly have to think and question and filter my thoughts and feeling to cater to someone else’s feelings, I’m only doing them a disservice. I’m not being myself. I like me.
I want my kids to be able to do the same; to an extent.
There are things you CLEARLY never say out loud to other people or about them. This goes for children and adults. But why as an adult do I get to pick when my children stop being naïve, outspoken, and unconditioned individuals? I thoroughly enjoy their candidness. I love that they have yet to be tainted by the “real world” and the pressures and stress that come along with being an adult. I don’t think that when children say aloud their very normal observations of the world around them that they do so to be mean or callous. For them it really is just stating the obvious.
In most of the situations where one of my terrorists has said or done something most would consider inappropriate, I always get similar reactions.
The man with no teeth laughed his toothless smile and looked at my son and said “you’re absolutely right. Don’t start smoking.”.
The older “fat” gentleman holding the door laughed and patted his belly.
I think most of us appreciate the brutal honesty we get from children because we don’t get the same from other adults. We get lip service. We have one thing said to our face, and many things said behind our back to other people. Adults will stab you in the back. Children will stab you with a plastic spork while looking you dead in the eye with a scowl on their face because you won’t give them more milk to drink. Hell, they will even tell you beforehand they’re going to stab you!
How refreshing it is to have unfiltered innocence touch our lives on occasion, straight from the mouth of babes.
I envy their ability to not have to put so much energy into piecing together social interactions. Perhaps we can take a page from this short chapter in their books and apply it in moderation to our own daily interactions with others.
Or maybe we just need to be a little less restrained and more like what my son very casually told his teacher his father was once: An Ash-hole.
Boob Pockets 
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